What most women want in a good lover is someone who really knows their way around the clit using clit stims. Make no mistake about it, the clitoris is a woman’s gateway to sexual pleasure. Treat her clit well and you can count on being invited in and invited back!

1. Clit Seduction. Anyone who’s ever engaged in a little hot-and-heavy petting knows you needn't be naked to stoke the fires of pleasure. Use your hand or other body parts to rub against her clit through your clothes. Run the palm-side of your hand over her pants or dress; do it slowly, from top to bottom and then back again, making sure you maintain an even amount of pressure throughout. Your intention here should be more of a stroke and less of a grab. You'll know you’re on the right track if she starts to hump you or she arches her body in order to make contact with your hand!

2. Get the Lay of the Land. When you’re undressed, give her a full body massage to tease her arousal. When you’re down near her genitals, spend some time getting to know the lay of the land. A woman’s clit is the small round nub located right at the top meeting point of the inner labia. It's covered by a layer of skin (kind of like a tiny foreskin) called the clitoral hood. Direct contact with the clitoris (if you were to pull back the hood) is too intense for most women, so focus your attention on the hood.

3. Digital Delights. As with meeting any new friend, your hands are the first things to introduce to her clit. Be sure to mix it up by varying not only what part of your hands you use, but also the pressure and speed, and pay close attention to her breathing and body language. Feel free to ask her specific questions (for instance, does she likes it faster or slower?) and be sure to use a gentle lubricant to keep things moving slickly. If you find that your hands tire, let a vibrator come to the rescue. Try a fingertip vibrator like the Fukuoku 9000 or the Finger Fun Vibe. These will not only do some of the work for you, but will also show her that you’re willing to go the extra mile to please her.

4. Oral Gasms. Now that you’ve warmed her up with your loving hands, you’re probably dying to get a taste of her - and she may be feeling pretty tasty herself! Many women love the feeling of cunnilingus and adore partners who pay homage to their clit in this intimate way. Encourage her to relax and focus on the sensations by offering her a Satin Mask Blindfold, and make yummy moans and groans while you go down on her. Instead of going straight for her clit, spend plenty of time lingering on her outer and inner lips — there's so much to see and do there, and if you build the proper anticipation she'll be pushing into your face with her pelvis to show you how ready she is for more. Feel free to experiment with different kinds of licks, varying placement, pressure, and speed, but when you find one movement that sets her off, stick with it. Clits love repetition, so unless she asks you to back off, maintain the stimulation and you'll be pleasantly rewarded.

5. Clit Considerations. If she’s a new partner and you’re practicing safer sex, or if you want to avoid getting lube in your mouth, employ a Glyde Dental Dam — a little lube on her side of it will keep the action slippery and wet, and maximize the sensations for both of you. Once you're both ready to raise the bar, her clit will already be swollen with pleasure from all of the warm-up you’ve provided.

6. Creative Clit-Loving Positions. Women's clits typically don't get much direct stimulation from intercourse, but ingenious couples' vibrators remedy this. A great vibe for couples to enjoy together is the Petal Ring Vibe — it's actually a cock ring that also vibrates against her clit during penetrative sex. Small vibrators like the Pocket Rocket can easily be nestled against a clit during intercourse positions, or larger toys like the Hitachi Magic Wand work well if you’re looking for something to either lay on top of during rear entry, or to sandwich between you during the missionary position. The most important thing to remember when loving her clit is to start slowly and build up the anticipation. No two women, or clits, are exactly alike, so the key is to pay attention to her body language and to trust your instincts as you create a specialized technique.

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